Some days I wonder when life will ever change
and other days life is changing so fast I race to keep up. I long to share with
you every detail of the past few weeks but unfortunately, I am limited by
time, space and confidentiality. Here is what I can share...
Almost 3 weeks ago, the Hunter and I received a
phone call and about an hour later became parents of a darling 2 month old baby
girl! We have opened our hearts and loved her dearly as we will our own
biological children. Her bright eyes observe everything with a curiosity to
know about the world around her. Her smiles & coos brighten any room. With
each day, we watch her muscles strengthen and motor skills refine. :)
Lullabies now fill our house. Restful nights of
sleep are interrupted with cries for a bottle and a diaper change. A strenuous
effort has been made to balance my role as wife to the Hunter and new mother to
this little one. Yet, amidst all of the many adjustments, I find myself
thankful for each and every day we have her.
Gratefulness.
It's a heart position
that I must grasp to keep for I am this sweet baby's momma for only a brief
while and the day is fast approaching when I will be required to hand her back
to individuals I barely know and walk away trusting in God's mighty ability to watch over her.
Tears threaten to spill over and my chest tightens at the thought of it. I fear
my heart may stop and breath may fail to come in that moment. I wonder should I
have loved more reservedly to protect myself from certain pain.
An answer slowly comes: NO. True love is costly.
It requires sacrifice of one's own desires and comforts for the well-being of
another. With God's strength and power, I am able to pour out my love on this
baby for her benefit because ultimately, Christ Jesus gave up his very life for
my well-being. I find strength and fortitude knowing that the God who raised
His Son, Jesus, from the dead is more than able to walk me through whatever pain
and heart ache will surely come...
The conclusion to my time with this precious baby girl is very
apparent and you may or may not relate. Still…as I am processing this, I have
been reminded how brief our lives may be. A tragic farm accident in my state
recently left a man and his grown son dead. The ripple effect of grief has been felt by many...my
heart is extremely heavy as I think of the wife and mother who lost her husband and son on
the same day and the heaviness only increases as I consider the wife about my age that is now left without her
husband. Her small child is nearby and her expectant belly is growing with a
tiny baby who will never meet its father. No tomorrow is a guarantee. As you know, tragedies
happen without warning or time to prepare. Because of sin's horrid curse, this
world is far from the Heaven we all long for.
But in the midst of pain and tragedies, we see glimpses
of Heaven...a baby's smiles and lullabies for instance.
Let's strive to love others fully
at our expense and be constantly grateful to a God who is good and gifts to us each day we
have with those we dearly love.
Philippians 2:3-5 New American Standard Bible (NASB)
3Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus,
James 1:12-18 New Living Translation (NLT)
12God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him. 13 And remember, when you are being tempted, do not say, “God is tempting me.” God is never tempted to do wrong, and he never tempts anyone else. 14 Temptation comes from our own desires, which entice us and drag us away. 15 These desires give birth to sinful actions. And when sin is allowed to grow, it gives birth to death.
16So don’t be misled, my dear brothers and sisters. 17 Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. 18He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession.
Below is one of the lullabies currently filling our home. Enjoy. :)
Praying for you all Friend. You put your thoughts, heartaches, and praises so beautifully in pen. Love.
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