The gift of REST to replace my wearisome worry.

Do you find yourself tired today or weighed down with life’s cares and tasks?  Are there circumstances and situations that cause you to anxiously strain ahead hoping to see their conclusion?  If yes, you are not alone.  To be honest, many questions have filled my mind since I last wrote.  Questions like:

 

When?

What if?

Where will what I so desperately need come from?

What is going on?

Do you love me?

How?

 

 Interesting how these questions spinning through my mind seem to add weight to my already cumbersome load and don’t ease my burden the slightest.  Can you relate?  Maybe all is right in your world today and the sun is shining brightly.  If so, know that I am sincerely happy for you.  There are days like this, but even on the best of days it doesn’t take long to look around and find something worrisome nearby…something heavy that is affecting your family or friends, some unknown ending to a current circumstance or a vivid fear pressing hard against your heart.  What are we to do with these?

 

Today, I am sitting alone in a quiet and peaceful spot, a comfy chair with the relaxing sound of rain falling on the windows.  In moments like this the heartache and pain of infertility seem to be removed a bit and the cares of life feel a little less heavy.  How in the world do I keep this feeling of quiet rest throughout the week of crazy days and hectic schedules, things gone wrong and heartache and especially in the midst of the above mentioned questions? 

 

The Hunter and I continue to find ourselves in the unique place of encountering the joys and challenges of parenting a now almost 10 month old beautiful baby girl and weathering the continuous cycle of infertility.  I can relate with the tired mother longing for some quality alone time with her husband, and I have cried the tears of hopes dashed by another month gone by.   

 

Our situations and cares are all so diverse and yet so similar.  Everyone has their own joys and burdens. 

 

Once in a while I stare at your joys and wish they were mine.  I watch your belly grow with new life and wish it were mine.  I see your excitingly romantic date night and wish it were on my calendar.  But if I could see your cares and burdens fully, rarely if ever would I wish for them to be mine.  Isn’t that how we are?  We see another person’s sunshine and want it for ourselves…never considering taking on his or her troubles, heartaches, worries and grief.  Then consequently we feel worse about our current situation and doubt God’s sight, ability, wisdom, goodness and possibly His very existence. 

 

Amid new details that continue to cloud our sweet baby girl’s future with uncertainty and the pain of infertility still etched deeply on my heart, God is and has been oh so good to me! 

 

A dear friend recently shared with me the thrilling news that after trying for several months, she was pregnant!  We had shared the ups and downs of waiting for a baby and as she shared this news with me she was full of grace and compassion, knowing her joy was still my longing and pain.  I was sincerely happy for her.  I want good things for others especially my close friends.  As our conversation ended she said “Melody, I just feel like you deserve it more.”  While it is true that the Hunter and I have been trying to conceive for quite a bit longer, something about this statement didn’t seem right.  Somehow, I did not feel more worthy of blessing than my sweet friend.  Later when the sentence was repeated by text it occurred to me what was wrong.  Both my dear friend and I were sinners, to whom God had given His very life to save from death and Hell, the only things either of us really deserve!  God has been Oh so GOOD to both of us!  She and I can be fully happy in her pregnancy knowing that God has not held out on me.  She and I can be thankful and content knowing that God has already given us everything!   

 

Psalm 116:1-7 (NLT)

I love the LORD because he hears and answers my prayers.

Because he bends down and listens, I will pray as long as I have breath!

Death had its hands around my throat; the terrors of the grave overtook me. 

I saw only trouble and sorrow.

Then I called on the name of the LORD;

“Please, LORD, save me!”

How kind the LORD is!  How good he is!

So merciful, this God of ours!

The LORD protects those of childlike faith;

I was facing death, and then he saved me.

Now I can rest again, for the LORD has been so good to me.

 

Beyond already rescuing me from wages of sin and granting me eternal life through faith in the death and resurrection of Christ Jesus, God has also given me a key to keeping  this feeling of rest that I am currently enjoying as I sip my Chai tea.  The ability to rest throughout the weeks of crazy days and hectic schedules, things gone wrong and heartache and especially in the midst of those above questions can be a reality.

 

Philippians 4:6-9

Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything.  Tell God what you need and thank him for all he has done.  If you do this, you will experience God’s peace, which is far more wonderful than the human mind can understand.  His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.

 

Don’t worry.  Don’t…meaning STOP IT! 

 

Until just recently, I have mistakenly translated this in my life as “make an attempt to not worry” or “it’s impossible not to worry, but it would be good if you didn’t” or even “if worry is disguised as planning, then it is surely acceptable”.  Please don’t make my error.

 

…DON”T worry. 

As in DO NOT worry.  Then just for those like me, he adds "About ANYTHING", to clear up any ifs, ands or buts! 

 

Worry accomplishes nothing except weighing us down.

 

Matthew 6:27 (NLT)

Can all your worries add a single moment to your life?  Of course not.

 

Proverbs 12:25 (NLT)

Worry weighs a person down; an encouraging word cheers a person up.

 

Instead of worrying which accomplishes nothing and weighs us down, we are to pray about EVERYTHING.  More specifically, we are instructed to tell God what we need and thank him for all he has done.  I have only begun to replace my worries with prayers, my fears with trust and my wants with thanksgiving, but I can tell you that the promise of God’s peace is real.  It is a peace so wonderful that we cannot understand it!  When this peace guards my heart and mind, I find a place of rest.  No longer am I straining to grasp control with my heavy worries.  I am calm and still, knowing God is good and more than capable to handle my questions and take my worries. 

 

I love it when I get the chance to hold our baby girl after she has fallen fast asleep!  She finally stops striving to stay awake and snuggles into my chest, fully trusting me to not drop her on the floor and knowing that I care deeply for her no matter how fussy she became before this nap.  These moments are few and becoming fewer still as she is more mobile.  She is starting to walk now and I have also found that I love it when she hurries to my arms for comfort and enjoyment.  Whether she is scared, hurt or just playing, I sense a peace and rest when she is in my arms.  J  I wonder if this is a faint portrait of what it is like when I find peace and rest after praying to God.  What a great place to be, in the “arms of God”.  It is a place of great security. 

 

Psalm 63:8b  (NLT)

…(God’s) strong right hand holds me securely.

 

Psalm 27:10

Even if my father and mother abandon me, the LORD will hold me close.

 

Metaphorically speaking, have you ever climbed up in his lap, given him your cares and concerns, then laid on his chest resting peacefully?  The perfect place of rest and peace is in God’s capable and loving arms.

 

I Peter 5:7 (NLT)

Give all your worries and cares to God,

for he cares about what happens to you.

 
 

 

Numbers 6:26 (NLT)

May the LORD show you his favor and give you his peace.